6″ Gold Blade// The Birthday Party.
i stuck a six-inch gold blade in the head of a girl.
oh baby, those skinny girls, they’re so quick to murder.
-the birthday party
* song 2 of 2. of what spared humanity – July 22nd 2013.
or let it continue to suckle on free tit one more day.
death she must have been your will
All those messages you sent clear as day
but in the night
Oh I couldn’t get it right
and eagle eagle talon and scream
I never once lived in-between
I was on the fence
and I never wanted your two cents.
* 1 of 2 songs that made me not want to destroy humanity. or at least to spare it a day…
so life has a way about it.
Makes you laugh at yourself. Just when you feel yourself slowly dying
because you believe in silly things
like true love
and good people.
And you’re cursing the heavens.
And all the shit in between.
And then it’s past midnight.
And you have to pee.
And you trip over a jingly hula hoop.
And that’s life. It’s only life.
I’m laying in the darkness listening to the heavyset neighbor woman’s laugh through the window screen.
And all I can think of are a million different ways to say the same thing –
‘I love you’
Not her. Not the heavyset woman. A man. That man. The man.
The one person who with one thought vibrates rings true through your whole being.
I want to fuck the world and forget.
but I can’t. and I won’t.
How can one person mean so much.
And why can’t I just shut up and play dumb. Not say these things out loud.
The dark poetic boys are writing calling me deep. And they’re attractive. but I can’t.
I watch the North in the darkness.
As the heavyset neighbor woman laughs through my screen window.
My body and being vibrates
With a million and one different ways to say, ‘I love you’.
to one man.