halloween whore.

 

image of debbie harry.

image of debbie harry.

this is a 2:40am story.

there’s a train in this one. always a train involved.
And my goofy Forest Gump smile,
I was poorly attempting to push back.

there’s a crowd in this one. always a crowd involved.
And they’re dressed in varying decades of prom suit attire
varying levels of inebriation. Some can knuckle walk
others will wake up robbed in East Flatbush.

I’m present.

Got a single memory taunting me under the fluorescents.
And orange stocking girl- is her own best company- lively talking. with herself.

The first time I was introduced to Debbie Harry I thought she was a bitch.

now I get it.

Sitting on the shoreline of humanity.
an overly attractive friend and I. We’re not so innocent.
We prefer water views. sunrises. or sunsets will do in a pinch.
But you learn to adapt in this City.
We watch. the crowd as ebb and flood of the tide.

I use to dress like a Halloween whore.

this City turns you out at a young age.
I’m all talk. liquid liner eyes. over exposed hip bones.
it’s all make believe if you know better.

I won.

this City of desecrated souls.
didn’t best me.
I know. what I look like. I know. my earned degrees and the credentials behind my last name. I know. the friends I earned and don’t deserve.

I won.

there’s a train in this one. always a train involved.
I fish around in my purse.
And lean over under the fluorescents.
to the stranger sitting next to me. he’s trying-
to cut through USPS packaging tape with his headphone metal input jack.
And handed him my house keys with a smile-
said this is my stop- but you’re killing me. save your music. Success. package opened.
the stranger smiled, “You saved my life.”
I smiled, “I saved your music.”

My stop.

I walked all the way home with this ridiculous smile. I owned it.

I’ve stopped dating.

approaching eyes and pick up lines don’t do it for me. these days.

I’m worth more.

if you saw this goofy Forest Gump no holds bar smile skipping home alone under the BQE.
bet you’d agree.