savage prey or clipped thoughts.

 

I want to run off with a dancer.

I want to run off with a dancer.

cheap thrills have a way of naturally finding me.

 

My discussions on Lolita_____

There is patient I use to visit

who became quadriplegic from Multiple Sclerosis.

He is well known in the film industry

while holding prestigious degrees in Mathematics.

He loved to delve into discussions

about literary topics.

And he is the reason I own a copy of Don Quixote.

But his absolute favorite novel is Lolita.

By this time audio books were arriving in the mail,

because the cruel disease stole the pleasure of a hardcover read from my friend.

He became delighted to open up discussions on Lolita seeing the mixture of unease and interest sweep across my face. Rush of blood to the head. And maybe the heart.

My mind keeps circling back round to the other night.

I’m trying to meet new people. Do new things.

And as I ran away with conversation and procrastination, the girl sat uneasy and alone at the other end of the barroom.

One of the new people I had set out to meet gave her acknowledgement, and with that nod- his nod, I encouraged him to invite her into our company.

New people. me trying.

The girl.

Kept repeating she is a poet. i’m a poet. i’m a poet. i’m a poet. i’m a poet. i’m a poet. i’m a poet. i’m a poet.

Looking like she flew off

the latest set recording of Madmen.

Which I openly acknowledged.

The girl.

Likes word pronunciation. sisters. genealogy. her family history of alcoholism. pathological lies. and names.

Lolita.

The girl.

Likes to tell stories.

And one in particular goes on like this______

12 year old girl who is advanced for her age has sex with 35 year old man. i blink.

I am not one to turn away. But I did.

As she smiled for approval. or something I couldn’t provide.

A novel existence.

I confirmed for her. Sounds like a story, Lolita.

And as she tried to figure out what was wrong with me she obviously is more advanced in life

or I am a judgmental square. But in all honesty…

I had to turn away.

from the feeling of being incredibly and overwhelmingly taken over by sadness.

I can’t shake that sadness some days.

like a comfortable stranger

wrapping an arm over your shoulder tops. holding you down. against you. pinned. warm. a guide. resting. there.

 

*************

I need a fool proof plan. or at least a reason I feel is important enough to open the door and stand under the sun turning to stars.

*******

If a great person believes in you and wants to be near you- grab them- grab the chance- grab an opportunity- grab the hope for a little some thing more in this life. Don’t figure the odds, count the cards, or guess the numbers on dice- you will lose- just live!

Live out the beautiful moment with a person you and they too never thought or hoped could actually exist, yet does!

**************

I wish I could sit on my work’s bus, and ride around NYC in circles all day. I like people in the rain, and not having to decide my own direction.

************

tornados are heading to the city. people on Wall Street are looking at the sky and running in to each other like disoriented birds from savage prey.

********

i think i’m looking in all the wrong places.

**********

This is dedicated to the one I love…
Thank you for the sweet oh so sweet dreams of you as Barbarella, torn outfit in all the right places… god oh god bless! My saran wrapped breasts & painted gold snake biting all the right places. Place packed-no waiting room. Drums beat, like Edgar Allen Poe’s Tell Tale Heart. You & me. No worries & no one else compares, we always recognize love, as a gifted curse.

*******************************

Love conversations with friends who remember parts of your life you were present for, but can’t quite remember… where you were, how you got there, and the who’s who of musical talent present to play with…Laughing my ass off how close to death Bridg & I have come time and again…but never noticed or cared as long as a guitar, talented lives, and a drink were also found close by…god bless rock & roll. damn!

**********************

Standing with created strangers
able to admit I do not understand anything about this life
And some how that brings a secret smile to my lips

Today, I felt myself breathe in
each rhythmic concrete ridden step
Finally fully a life.

*******************

sometimes you walk in the rain to hide yourself and sometimes you take the back warehouse roads to hide from everyone else. today I choose both.

Christ, only my back warehouse road would have a film production crew on it!!!

******************************

 I will start to see more pictures of hats and less pictures of boa constrictors eating elephants.

I hate boxes with lids, dark corners, and the ability to forget.

Anaphora- Greek derivative means, “carrying back.”
Repeating a sequence.

There’s nothing I understand.
But there is a field of Daffodils in the snow on the way to work.